Ozmopolitan Says
by omg.it's.wickedjelly
Summary: When Caz Frone, a rising star from Munchkinland, becomes the object of every girl’s affections, Ozmopolitan declares Munchkins the latest in eye candy. So what’s a guy like Boq to do?
1. Chapter 1: Positively Scandalacious

**Author's Note**: Heehee, this idea came to me whilst playing the Situation Game on Sparkling Patronus' forum (fun stuff). It was too good a situation to pass up! However, I do not claim to be a pixie or a lost Ozian, if you know what I mean. If you don't: I apologize if my attempts to create a humor story are futile. It's not my fault I wasn't given the funny genes, like certain creative, cunning, clever comedian-esses (whee alliteration!) I just might have alluded to…  
Anyway. I was planning on this only being a oneshot, but apparently my muse is telling me it could be a short story. Hmm. I think I agree. I'm still working in WWSE, though, and I'm not gonna lie: I was very pleased with the amount of reviews I received for my last chapter.  
Read, review, and enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: I'm forbiiiidden to own…Wicked. In Cyberlaaaand, we only own…our stories.

* * *

"Oh, Galinda, would you look at those _shoes_!" Shenshen squealed, pointing to a pair of baby blue flats in _OzStyle_. "They're perfect for my dress that I bought for the dance next week, don't you think?" 

Galinda furrowed her eyebrows, then ceased the act when she remembered it caused an early development of wrinkles. "Shenshen, you _know_ you can't wear flats with a dress that ends below the knee, and only on special occasions can your shoes be the same color as your dress. But here, why don't you try–" she flipped two pages and pointed at a pair of silver shoes "–these. Mozchal Kohrs, two and a half inch heels. A perfect match."

"Thanks so much, Galinda! You're the best!"

"No problem! But what do you think about these shoes? You think they'll match my pink dress?" Galinda gestured pointed to a pair of pink heels from Nozstroms in _CozmoGirl!_.

"What happened to only special occasions?"

"Oh, Shenshen, didn't you know? I _am_ a special occasion!"

"Of course, of course!" Shenshen gushed. "You're amazing, Galinda, so special, so amazing, so perfect, so–"

"Oh my Oz, it's Caz! CAZ FRONE! OH EM OH I LOVE HIIIIIM!!!" Pfannee suddenly exclaimed, causing the two other girls to emit squeals of an ear-piercingly high frequency.

"He's sooo dreeeeamy."

"I know! His smile makes me melt."

"And his hair!"

"He's so good at sports!"

"He knows all the cool slang!"

"And he's _hot_. Very hot. Possibly…" Galinda lowered her voice to a whisper. "Possibly even hotter than Fiyero."

Shenshen and Pfannee gasped. "Why, Galinda! How positively _scandalacious_ of you!"

"What? I'm allowed to look at guys other than my darling Fiyero, am I not?" She winked. "Now show us that picture of Caz, Pfannee."

"Oh, yes, of course." Pfannee handed her the open copy of _Ozmopolitan_, which contained a pullout poster of a shirtless Caz Frone and the accompanying five page long article titled "Small Guy, Big Talent".

"What? Small guy? Cazzy is _so_ not small," Shenshen said. "On the contrary, I heard his is a full eight inches when–"

"That's very nice, Shenshen."

"Ooh, Galinda, but listen to this!" Pfannee said, then proceeded to read aloud from the article. "'It is no secret that Caz Frone is a very talented actor – not to mention extraordinarily HOT. But what _isn't_ well known about the rising star is he is a native Munchkinlander. When asked why he is taller than the average Munchkin, he said, with that smile we girls swoon over every time, "I was bred into height."'"

"Hey, isn't that kind of like what happened to that Biq guy?" Shenshen interrupted.

"Don't even mention his name." Galinda rolled her eyes. "I can't _stand_ that kid! He follows me everywhere I go, like we're playing Follow the Leader or something, and I'm _always_ the leader."

"I feel so sorry for you."

"I know," Galinda said. "I do, too. I mean, I had to give up _one whole_ shelf for her out of my _own closet_! Isn't that–"

"Guuuuuys," Pfannee whined, "I'm not finished!"

"Sorry."

"Ugh, where was I? Oh. Yes. Here we go. So: '"Bred into height?" I asked. "What do you mean?"

"'"Well, my father was from the the Glikkus, and my mother was from Munchkinland – they married, did their thing, and then ding dong, a baby is born. And I'm the baby! Only not anymore." He laughed.'"

At this the girls broke into hysterics.

"He's so _funny_!" Pfannee said between fits of giggles. The girls laughed even harder when Shenshen produced a Pig-like snort. "I mean, he said–" wheeze, giggle "– he's not a –" giggle "–_baby_ anymore! Could he be any–" wheeze "–funnier?"

However, Galinda's laughter soon faded as her eyes landed on the last sentence of the article.

"Um, Pfannee? Shenshen? You might want to listen to this."

"Listen to what?" Shenshen said after a few moments in which she had regained her composure.

"_This_! Listen: 'So, girls, next time you're looking for a hot date, you might want to try a Munchkin. They're hot, and who knows? Yours just might grow up to be the next Caz Frone.'"

The girls were stunned into silence. Did this mean that Munchkins were cool? That they were good enough to date? That they should–

"I CALL DIBS ON BIQ!"

"NO, I DO!"

"No, _I_ do. Pfannee, Shenshen, he's _mine_!" Galinda exclaimed

"But I thought you said–"

"Said what? That I was too worried about hurting Fiyero's feelings if I dumped him for Biq? Well, now I'm not. Now I _know_ Biq is the one for me."

"But–"

Galinda pouted. "Girls, can't I have what I want just this once? Please?"

Shenshen and Pfannee contemplated this for a few clock ticks. _They_ weren't the ones who had been so selfless, so _generous_ as to give up their private suite to house an obnoxious string bean, were they? No. Poor Galinda…

"Of course you can have him!"

"Yay!" Galinda grinned and bounced up and down on her bed. "Here I come, Biq, here I come."

- ♥ - ♥ - ♥ -

Boq awoke with a start and looked around frantically. A noise outside his door had woken him up, and he was certain it wasn't made by a Mouse. Oh, for the love of the Unnamed God, he was too young to die.

He cautiously made his way over to his door and opened it slowly, making sure not to disturb his roommate, Grefin. He looked around – there was nothing to be seen.

Except the note on the floor.

_look out side theres a suprise for you. _

Oh Oz.

He ran over to the window. Sure enough, there was something outside, although it wasn't what he expected. For there was Kilony from his Mathematics class, holding a sign above her head that read "I LOVE YOU, BOQ!"

His cheeks flushed, and he ducked back inside before he could be seen. What was wrong with her? Earlier in the morning, when he had asked if she wouldn't mind scooting over a bit because he had barely enough room, she had said, "Oh! But you're a _Munchkin_, for Ozsakes', you don't need room!"

Yet here she was, proclaiming her love for him outside his window in the middle of the night where, if anyone but the two of them were awake, everyone could see her.

Something was wrong.

And Boq wasn't too sure he minded.


	2. Chapter 2: Roses and Cardboard Cutouts

**Author's Note:** -clears throat- Well, I can't say I wasn't OMO AMAZED AND GIDDY when I saw the response from my first chapter. Hee, I was. Really. I love you all lots, and THANK YOU SO MUCH! (Oh, and I borrowed a term from The Pixess – really couldn't help it. XD)  
Read, review, and enjoy!

* * *

It smelled.

Like roses.

And Boq didn't even own a single rose-scented item (save for the stationary Nessa gave him yesterday, but he had used that as scrap paper for his Mathematics homework). Yet here he was, lying in bed on an early Friday morning and smelling roses. Oz, he hoped it wasn't another one of Nessa's presents. He didn't need another one of her self-help books (How to Grow Taller in 10 Steps or Less!) or another limited edition Kiamo Ko Ken to wed her collection of Boqie dolls. No. Just no.

He slid out of bed, taking his time as he did so, and walked around the room, trying to determine the carrier of the rose scent. It didn't take him long to discover that the smell did not, in fact, come from inside the room.

It came from right outside his door.

Feeling like he was experiencing a case of deja-vu, he opened the door slowly. And gasped.

Because there. Were. Dozens. Of. Roses. Right outside his door, no less, and all with labels that bore his name. Not Grefin's. His.

But certainly they were from Nessa, for who in their right mind would send him dozens of roses? That thing with Kilony was probably a mistake, or a late-night dare, or a love spell gone wrong. Very wrong. So he shouldn't get his hopes up.

Nevertheless, he peeked at one of the cards:

_i thnk u r hot cuz u r kute & lil & stuff  
luv ur secret luver  
(ps i got u 1st!)_

And another:

_NO I THINK YOURE HOT! (FIRST DOESNNT MEAN ANYTHING EMIKA!) WANT TO GO OUT SOMETIME SOMEWHERE ANYWHERE A BAR MAYBE OR A STRIP CLUB OR SOMETHING I LIVE IN ROOM 243 SO COME BY SOMETIME AND WE CAN DO SOMETHING TOGETHER JUST YOU AND ME FOREVER!_

And another:

_Boq, dear, you needn't listen to any of those girls. They're only ––––––––––––––––––––  
You know__ I'll__ love you no matter what!  
Love,  
Nessa_

Unfortunately – or fortunately, whichever way you want to look at it – some of the note had been scribbled over in black ink.

Boq sighed. Of course she would try to thwart any girl's attempt to fawn over him. Sweet Oz, did the ever give up? It was like they were playing a game a game of Follow the Leader, and he was always the leader.

But he brushed the thoughts aside, not wanting to spoil the moment. The moment in which he appeared to be…_popular_. He was popular! Whether or not it was influenced by the hip sweater vest he had worn the other day, he was popular.

He was about to read another note when someone said, "Excuse me, sir," and tapped him on the shoulder.

Boq whirled around to see a worker for the OPS staring back at him with a slightly bemused look on his face. "Yes?"

"Are you…" He peered at the cared he was holding. "Are you Biq?"

Boq rolled his eyes at the common misspelling of his name. "Yes, yes, that'd be me. I'm Boq."

"Oh, well, then would you happen to know where Biq is?"

"That would be _me_. My…um, my nickname is Biq."

"Oh. Okay. Then these are for you." The guy, whose nametag read _Jotin_, stepped aside to reveal a huge parcel that appeared to be almost five feet tall – like Boq. Only the box wasn't gawking as much as Boq was.

"Holy mother of everything Emerald, _that's_ for _me_?" Boq struggled to remain calm, to not display the bubbly, popular feeling all this was giving him, to not start doing laps around campus to run off the natural high he had.

"Yes, sir."

"May I ask who it's from?"

"Some cupcake in Crage Hall," the guy replied, not bothering to mask his jealousy.

Boq nearly choked on his saliva. "Are you serious? A _cupcake_?" He had heard Elphaba refer to her roommate as such on more than one occasion.

"Not a real cupcake, you idiot. A _girl_."

"No, I know, I – oh, thank you. Thank you so much, Jotin."

"Whatever." Having said that, the guy nodded at Boq and walked off, muttering something along the lines of, "Some guys have all the luck."

And Boq was left to deal with a package as big as himself.

How in Oz was he supposed to get this thing in his room? There was no way it would fit through the frame, and it wasn't like he could slice the thing in half, so…Lurline, that meant he would have to open it in the hallway. Where everyone could see.

Where everyone would see him opening a huge box held together by a gigantic pink ribbon.

Which meant that it was from Galinda.

Which meant that people would see _him_ opening a box from Galinda.

Which meant that people would know Galinda gave something to him.

Which meant that people perhaps-maybe-might-possibly think that Galinda, oh, cared for him.

Which meant–

In one quick, fluid motion, he did away with the ribbon and tore open the box, and stared at what lay before him:

A life-size cardboard cutout of Galinda.

Attached to it was a pink card, embellished with various pink and silver rhinestones surrounding a pink heart with – Boq had to peer closer in order to see clearly – a picture of Galinda and another of himself in the middle. He opened the card and read it.

_Dearest darlingest Biq,_

_I think I have finally scene you for who you truely are: the one for me. Yesterday I was lieing on my bed when the lightbulb flashed and then I was like OMO I think I like Biq (I think your so cool you should some thing named after you, like a pen maybe). I really want to get together with you one day, ok? Maybe a resteraunt or some thing. Any way when you get this keep it in your room and think of me always and for ever because I want you too always and for ever remember me, Galinda Upland.  
By the way maybe we should go shopping for cloths or some thing because you need knew clothes. Please don't ware that sweater vest its so unflattering and doesn't bring out your true colors. Which match mine._

_Love you for ever and always,_

_Galinda_

Boq fainted.

- - - - -

"Ex-_cuse_ me?"

"You heard me. I said that IwanttobreakupwithyoubecauseIfoundanothermanwhomatchesmytruecolors."

"You found another man? Who matches your true colors?!" Fiyero Tiggular had to clench his fists to keep from yelling.

"That's right."

"And what are your true colors? I mean, I can match them if you want me to!"

Galinda looked at him sadly. "I wouldn't expect you to understand," she said, patting his shoulder in an attempt to sympathize with her new ex-boyfriend.

"But–"

"Darling – Fiyero – there comes a time in a young woman's life when she finds herself wanting more than just a boy. She wants a _man_."

Fiyero gaped at her. "You mean _I'm_ not manly enough for you?"

"Not at all, my dear."

"Then who is?"

"Well," Galinda said, giggling, "I'd have to say Biq is a little higher than you on the Scale of Everything Manly."

Upon hearing those words, Fiyero launched into a violent coughing fit. Galinda, not knowing what else to do, clapped his back with her monogrammed Louis Wizzon purse, causing the Prince to fall to the ground.

"Fiyero, are you okay? CAN YOU HEAR ME? ARE YOU BREATHING? I KNOW HOW TO DO CPR IF YOU NEED IT! NOD YOUR HEAD IF YOU'RE UNCONCIOUS!"

At this point a horde of students had gathered around the couple to watch the disaster scene. It wasn't long before Fiyero stood up, having recovered from the coughing fit, his face redder than a tomato.

"Did you say…" He wheezed. "T-That Boq was more of a man than…than _me_?"

"Well, duh!" a girl from the crowd called out. "Boq is so handsome and short! And cute! And you're…you're just…you're just _Fiyero_."

The Prince emitted a high-pitched, girlish "Ah!" and sunk back down to his knees, where he curled into a fetal position and lay there, trying his hardest not to cry.

After all, he had never been _dumped_ before. It had always been him doing the dumping, because it was always him who grew bored of the relationship first – every girl he'd dated had been hopelessly obsessed with him. They had never seen it coming. Just like he hadn't…

Oh Oz. _He_ was the DUMP-EE.

Talk about ruining his reputation. Then again, it wasn't like dozens of girls declaring Boq more manly than himself did much to help his social standing either. So…he had to leave Shiz. He had to get kicked out again. But how? It had to be something crafty, devious, something scandalacious.

He was in the process of thinking about standing back up again when something hard came in contact with his back. Fiyero grunted as something else, something bigger, something softer – but heavy – fell on top of him.

And that thing had quite the temper.

"Sweet Lurline, what in Oz are you _doing_?" she hissed, bouncing right back up and grabbing her things hastily. "Usually people use sidewalks for _walking_, you idiot, not for gaining a few more hours of sleep. And really, if you're so tired, why not make use of the bed in your dorm instead of staying up all night partying. Oz, would you _get your hand off_ my book?" Fiyero wasted no time in complying as he stared at her, dumbfounded – it was the green girl.

"What? What are you staring at?"

"Nothing, just...just why are you…why are you green?"

The girl huffed. "If I wanted all of Oz to know, I would have posted a huge _green_ sign right outside my room. So long, Master Fiyero."

"Wait, but I'm not all of Oz – and how did you – my name?"

"You may not be all of Oz, but you have a girlfriend with a mouth that's big enough for everyone. Oh, and the only reason I know your name – I wouldn't care to know it otherwise – is because your girlfriend talks about you incessantly. Yes, back to the whole big mouth thing. Speaking of which, would you mind telling her that the poems she's written about you are should never be read to anyone's ears but her own?" She stopped, then, and it was obvious she had spoken more than she intended to. "I-I have to go."

And before Fiyero could stop her, she ran off, a green and black blur.

...Gosh.

_Women_.


	3. Chapter 3: The New Boq

**Author's Note**: Um…sheesh! My ego has swelled to like, a bajillion. You all are giving me SO MUCH motivation to write, it's amazing.  
And a quick note for my WWSE readers: it's done. It's just…done. Very done. Despite the fact I have been getting a great response for that as well, I have no motivation to finish it, and it's become a chore. Stories shouldn't be chores. :(  
Read, review, and enjoy!

* * *

Having received a huge ego boost from his roommate ("Shit, Boq, what are you – Mr. Popularity?"), Boq strutted off to Life Sciences, puffing out his chest to look more manly and shaking his head to show off his newly-gelled hair.

"Hey, Boq," said Sarfina from his Linguistics class as she passed him. "Looking good today."

"Why, thank you ever so much, Sarfina. You're not looking too shabby either," he replied, and threw in a wink for good measure. Then another to Kilony. And another to Galinda. And another to Milla. And another to fifty other girls. Because there was no harm in flirting, right? After all, it wasn't as bad as Avaric's hooking up with nearly every girl on campus. He did it so shamelessly that it was just something he _did_, but that didn't make it any less shame-_ful_. He would never do that. Never ever.

Boq entered the classroom and slid ever-so-gracefully into his seat next to Elphaba, who, for some reason or another, was the only female who had yet to offer him a gift or a seductive smile. What was up with that? Hadn't she received the memo that – _hello_? – he was the new It Boy on campus?

Then again, maybe he could be the initiator. For once.

So he said, "Elphaba, darling, I feel as if I might fall out of my seat, for you're taking up quite a bit of room. Would you be so kind as to scoot over?"

As the words left his mouth, however, he instantly regretted it, for his green friend shot him a look so murderous it could kill something that was already dead. Like a spirit or a ghost or something like that.

Or himself.

"Boq, _darling_, you better watch your tongue – just because I'm different from all those other fluffy worshippers of conformity and "what's in" doesn't mean I appreciate being called fat. Nor do I appreciate one of my – I mean, nor do I appreciate my seat partner acting like yet another brainless idiot. We have much too many of those around here."

"Oh. Um. I-I apologize, Miss Elphaba–"

"I thought we were beyond honorifics," she said, smiling wryly.

"Yes, well, that's true, but–"

"Now that you have all those girls chasing you, you don't need my company?"

"No – no! That's not true at all." Boq sighed. "Look, Elphaba, can you stop blowing thing out of proportion? I'm still Boq from Munchkinland, just with a little added–" he struck a manly pose that drew a few giggles from across the room "–flair."

Elphaba opened her mouth to protest, but her better judgment decided against it. Really, she didn't want to hear anything more out of the New Boq's mouth.

Too bad that was all she heard for the entire class period.

For the minute Doctor Dillamond entered the classroom, he had bolted back out, complaining of an unsettling breakfast. This left a room full of students with no adult supervision. Boq's newly acquired worshippers had, of course, used this as an opportunity to lavish him with praise ("Ooh, Boq, you're looking so _manly_ today"), and an irritated Elphaba chose to relocate to a different bench.

Surprisingly, she wasn't the only one who was pissed.

"Ooh, Boq, just _look _at you!" Fiyero muttered to himself, impersonating the girls' high-pitched squeals. "You're so hot, so cute, so short and adorable, so – oh, he _disgusts _me." He looked across the room to see the green girl who had ran into him earlier, and decided he might as talk to her. You know, so he wouldn't be as bored. And so they could share stories about Boq-hating.

He plopped into the seat next to her. "Hello," he greeted.

The girl glared at him. "Oh, what a pleasure."

"I know, it is. It really is. Or rather, it _should_ be, YOU HEAR THAT? BECAUSE I AM THE PRINCE FROM THE VINKUS!" He looked around to check if anyone had heard him: they hadn't. Fiyero frowned. "So what's your name?"

"And why do you feel the need to ask that question?"

"Because I feel it's my duty to know the name of every _fine _lady in the school." Fiyero frowned again – not a blush, not a chuckle, not even a hint of a smile on her fine-structured face. That is, if green people were capable of having a fine-structured face, and if the word fine-structured made any sense.

"Elphaba."

"What?"

"My name is Elphaba."

"Um, that's a pretty cool name. Um, so, uh, what do you think of Boq?"

"Not that what I think is your concern unless I intend it to be," she said, "but I will tell you this: Boq is an idiot."

"I _know_! It's like all he cares about is girls and how he looks. Just who does he think he is, walking around like he owns the place…what? I'm not used to getting that look from a girl. Usually it's more of a…WHY ARE YOU STARING AT ME LIKE THAT?"

"No reason, but just yesterday weren't you what Boq is now?"

"Come again?"

"I'm sorry," she said after sighing impatiently. "I forgot we speak different languages."

Fiyero looked at her in bemusement. "Um, but we don't. Because I understood everything you just said. Unless…unless I have the special power to understand different languages that I've never heard of! Wow, that would be so–"

"For the love of the Unnamed God – whom I don't even believe in – is sarcasm _completely_ lost on you?"

"No?"

Elphaba huffed. "Fine. What I meant was that the New Boq is no different from you, and by_ that_ I mean you both are brainless teenage boys who feel the need to follow trends and be a ladies' man."

"Oh. Well," he said, furrowing his eyebrows in what appeared to be deep thought. "Um…that's not true at all!"

"Isn't it?" she said.

And that was that.

The next couple minutes were filled with not an awkward silence, but not a favorable one (for Fiyero anyway), as Elphaba resumed her laboring over some kind of schoolwork. Meanwhile, Fiyero mulled over the possibility that he, Fiyero, the Prince from the Vinkus, could _possibly_ be similar to Boq in any way. Yes, they were both males, but…Boq? Versus Fiyero? Talk about total opposites.

It wasn't long before Fiyero exhausted that topic and found the need to create a conversation starter. However, he came up with nothing of substance – thinking wasn't exactly his forte – so he said the first thing that came to mind.

"You know, your face is very fine-structured."

She gaped at him. "_Excuse_ me?"

"Um…your face. The structure. It's…nice. Fine. Nicely fine-structured. Finely nice-structured?" He would have continued, but when he saw her turn her head away from him and her violently shaking shoulders, he stopped before he could do any more damage. "Hey, look, I was only trying to–"

Elphaba turned toward him, her face conveying the opposite of what he'd thought it would: she was _laughing_.

"You…you…you are such an _idiot_," she managed to say between uncharacteristic giggles.

Despite himself, Fiyero grinned. "Like Boq?"

"Yes. Like Boq." She offered him a slight smile, and Fiyero decided to take that as a compliment, whether or not it actually was.

Because he was just so darn nice that way.

- - - - -

She didn't understand, she just didn't understand. They had a full hour and a half together, and all he had said to her was, "Thank you for the gift, Galinda – I'll be sure to keep it right next to me at all times and I'll never ever throw it away" and "I like your hair, it's pretty". Sweet Oz, did he have any idea how much time she had spent on that stupid note and posing for that stupid cardboard cutout? This was insane. A normal person would have arrived at her door and asked her out the clock tick they received a gift like that.

But not Boq.

Boq was different.

So she had to devise a plan. A perfect plan, a clever plan, one that would be…perfect, not unlike herself.

She could jump out of a cake at his birthday, whenever it was, or maybe even his half-birthday. Or his quarter birthday. Or…or she could take him out for dinner! No, that was too conservative. Galinda then thought back to things Fiyero had done for her.

Well. He had taken her out to dinner. Every weekend. And he had left roses outside her door every morning, but that motion was totally exhausted. He had also taken them to get their hair done. Then, a week ago, he had snuck into her room (much to Elphaba's delight), and – oh.

_Perfect_.

- - - - -

"Sweet mother of everything Emerald," Grefin said, "not only do you get enough roses to fill up all four of Shiz's gardens, but you get a cardboard cutout of the hottest girl in school, two boxes of Fliaan chocolates from Kilony, three Roz Lauren shirts from Milla, _and_ a Boqie and Kiamo Ko Ken My Perfect Wedding set from Nessa. And I'm not even counting the twelve parcels you got from OPS today." He gestured toward the pile of boxes stacked next to Boq's bed. "When do you plan on opening them?"

Boq waved his hand carelessly. "Oh, never mind them. I'll just donate them to charity or whatever."

"Why?"

"Because there's going to be plenty more where they came from, and I have plenty-_er_ other things to do."

Grefin rolled his eyes. "Concerning Nessa, of course."

"But I'm afraid you are mistaken," Boq said, pulling out a baby blue notebook, to which his roommate looked upon with amusement. "This? Lilli from Ozian History gave it to me." Grefin frowned. "'Kay, so, at five today I'm going to Ozbucks with Lilli at the library, then tomorrow at nine in the morning I'm going to Ozbucks again with Milla, then OHOP at twelve with Kiloney, then Ozbucks again at four with Sarfina, then–"

"All right, all right! I get it now: you're popular. Sheesh. Lay off it, man."

"You're just jealous 'cause you're not getting laid, _period_."

Grefin's jaw dropped to the floor. "Sweet Oz, Boq, you…." He smiled. "You're funny. I like you."

Boq smiled, too. "What can I say? I think this is the start of something new. Before you know it, I'll be famous – hey, maybe like Caz Frone!"

"Maybe," Grefin said, chuckling. "Maybe."


	4. Chapter 4: Super Plan

**Author's Note**: So…um, another thank you to my reviewers! You can never have too many thank yous, no, ooh. I KNOW!  
The following advertisement was sponsored by myself:  
Are you obsessed with Wicked? Do you like to talk about Wicked? Do you like to talk in general? Are you looking for a place to talk about anything and everything – especially Wicked – and play amazingly fun games? That have to do with Wicked? And anything and everything?  
Then come on over to the Bored Authors Society, founded in early June by the acclaimed and esteemed Sparkling Patronus! We're already the number one forum in the Wicked fandom, with – checks – 386 posts, as of Tuesday, August 28, 2007.  
THAT'S A SHOCKER!  
'Kay I got that out of my system, thanks much, so now you can read, review, and enjoy this commercial-free chapter!

**Disclaimer** (oops): Last night…I had a dream. I found myself in a heaven – called Jelly-owns-Wicked Land. It was bliss, I was famous beyond my wildest dreamings, and I was – happy. Then, out of the abyss, walked a Cow – Reality. I asked if my profit from Wicked had increased in the last week.  
She said: "Dream on."  
('Kay, so I stole it from WWSE, but it was dead anyway so SHH!)

* * *

Heaving a heavy, dramatic sigh, Galinda flung herself onto her bed. Oz, what a day, having to suffer through Boq's not acknowledging that they were perfect for each other. It was horrible.

"Elphaba, I'm _exhausted_."

"Mmm," her roommate replied, not bothering to look up from her book.

"Why? Because all this scheming has, like, tired out my brain! Who knew that making plans to win the boy of your dreams could be so horrendibly _hard_?"

This grabbed Elphaba's attention. "But you already have the boy of your dreams, don't you? Your 'darling Master Fiyero, Prince from the Vinkus'?"

"Not anymore, silly!" Galinda said, rolling her eyes. "Haven't you heard? I broke up with him before classes this morning!"

Elphaba gawked at the blonde. "You mean…you two aren't…"

"Thaaaaat's right! Fiyero and I are deader than Animal Rights."

"Watch yourtongue," Elphaba spat.

"Sorry, sorry!" Galinda exclaimed, throwing up her hands in surrender. "So yeah. Now I'm…well…I'm after…well, you know." She giggled.

"No, I can't say I do. I want to kn–" She stopped as realization dawned upon her, and was unable to keep her jaw from dropping even farther than it had before. "Oh_ Oz_, Galinda, you can't be serious!"

The blonde grinned and skipped over to her dresser to retrieve her free sample of Ravishing Red nail polish from Lozreál, hoping the new color would be sexier than her usual Blushing in Pink.

"Why can't I?" she asked innocently. Galinda gently stroked the small brush over her left thumb. Ah, yes – if this wasn't an attractive color, she didn't know what was.

"Why can't you? For Ozsakes', just yesterday you were referring to him as the 'annoying little Munchkin boy', and now he's…what? More popular than Fiyero?"

"You are correct." Left pointer finger was looking mighty fine.

Elphaba finally closed her book and regarded Galinda in a curious manner. "Is it just because everyone else thinks so?"

"N-no! Miss Elphaba, I'm offended you would say such a thing. I do believe I am intelligent enough to pick out my own personal love interest."

"Is that so?"

"That is very, very so," Galinda said haughtily, finishing off her left hand and starting on the other. "Hey, I have a question for you: is a limb a part of your body?"

Elphaba groaned. "Yes, Galinda."

"Yay! That's what I thought. 'Cause I was taking this quiz in _CozmoGirl!_ and it asked me what my favorite limb was."

"How…lovely?"

"IT IS! Guess what I put, guess what I put?"

"I have no idea," Elphaba said, reopening her book.

"Fine." Galinda pouted. "I put my pinky finger! You wanna know why?"

"Not particularly, but if it'll help you sleep, go right ahead."

Galinda smiled. "Aw, Elphaba, you care about me!"

"Wha-what? That's not true," Elphaba protested, "I just said–"

"–that you cared about my sleeping habits! But I'm going to change the subject because I'm such a nice person. So, the reason why I put my pinky finger is because it has the word pink in it! Isn't that like, amazing? Oh, wait, we need to give you a nickname."

"Why?"

"Because I feel that if two young women confide in each other, no matter how silly the confidation–" she ignored Elphaba's grimace at the made up word "–they should give each other a nickname! But I don't need one, so we'll just work on it for you. Okay, hold on." She screwed up her face in thought. "I know – Phaba!"

"No."

"Phabby?"

"No."

"Elpha?"

"_No_, Galinda."

"ELPHIE!"

"No."

"Yes. Oh, Elphaba, it's perfect! I shall call you Elphie, and you shall be my Elphie."

"No–"

"YES!"

"All right, all right. But you must do me a favor in return," the newly-dubbed Elphie said.

"Of course."

"Tell me why you decided Boq was The One so suddenly."

Galinda's mouth opened. And shut. Then opened again. Then shut again. Then: "Well, I…I…um…well, you know, _Ozmopolitan_–"

"I knew it!" Elphaba resisted the urge to pump her fists in the air like all those deranged sports players. "You judge boys by what those ridiculous magazines of yours say, not by how you actually feel. Which – not that I am experienced in this field – is not the way you should go about doing things."

"Exactly. You are not experienced, so you are in no way allowed to question _my_ expertise, Miss Elphie."

"But I–"

"And you mustn't tell him, Elphie. You have to promise!"

"I promise?"

"Well, do you?" Galinda looked so anxious, so fearful, that Elphaba decided to let the blonde have her way. Just this once.

"I do."

"Oh, THANK YOU!" Galinda ran across the room and engulfed her new friend in a suffocating Bear hug. "You are so kind, Elphie, so kind, so nice, so caring, so–"

"Get. Off. Me."

"Oh, um, sorry!" Galinda said, grinning sheepishly. She skipped back to her bed and landed on it with a _plop_. "My Momsie's always said I have a slight tendency to go overboard with my emotions, though it doesn't happen very often, so they say I'm all right. I _am_ all right, aren't I? I mean…you don't think Boq will…not…like me?" Her face fell. "OH MY OZ, I BET HE _DOES_ HATE ME!"

"Galinda, calm down. He's only been obsessed with you since he first laid eyes on you. I doubt he'd suddenly decide to change…Well, it's possible," she said wryly, "but you're Galinda, you hear me? You have all of Shiz falling at your feet."

Galinda contemplated this for a moment. "Ooh, you're right. Okay. Hey, Elphie, you're not so bad at advice! We should give you an advice column or something."

"I think not. How about _I_ get back to my book, and _you_ start on your assignments."

"_I_ think not. I have more important things to be doing, such as launching my Super Plan."

"Super Plan?" Elphaba asked.

"Re-mem-beeeeeer? I told you I was exhausted due to all of this scheming and planning and stuff. It was the very first thing I said."

"I remember clearly, thank you, but what's so 'super' about it?"

"I can't tell you or else it'll lose its super-ness. Now how about you go back to your book, Elphie?" Galinda said, smiling sweetly.

Elphaba opened her mouth to retort, but found herself unable to string together a witty phrase. So she said nothing and resumed her reading.

Galinda planned.

- - - - -

They had spent nearly two hours talking about…well, nothing. Nothing at all. Well, okay, so maybe _Lilli_ had said a thing or two, but it wasn't like Boq had been actively listening. Fashion wasn't exactly on his list of priorities. Neverthess, she was pretty cute, at least cute enough to be a temporary substitute for Galinda. He wasn't ready for Galinda. Not yet.

"So as I was saying, I'm still trying to figure out if babydoll tops can be worn with a skirt, you know? You understand my dilemma?"

"Of course I do," Boq said before taking a sip from his Strawberry Frappachino.

"No, really. You understand what I'm talking about? It's like, loose top, loose bottom – possible or not, you know? I don't want to commit a faux pas or anything because then I'd be like an ostrich and not a bird that flies above everyone else, you know?"

"Um…yeah. So why were we talking about babydoll tops?"

Lilli glared at him and took an angry swig of her Chai Tea. "Your memory is as short as your height, for Ozsakes', you know. We were talking about babydoll tops because I _wanted_ to take you out to the Philosophy Club next week, you know, but since you seem not to care about anything I say, we can skip that little outing."

"Lilli–"

"I'm calling our waiter."

"But this place doesn't have–"

It was too late, however: her hand holding her tea shot in the air and, as a result, her lidless drink sloshed all over her cream sweater.

Boq's face paled.

She was pissed.

"THIS WAS AN EXPENSIVE SHIRT FROM HOZZISTER, YOU KNOW!" she screamed, drawing attention from the baristas and the customers and nearly everyone within a five mile radius. "HOW _DARE YOU_? I THOUGHT YOU WERE A DECENT PERSON. BUT YOU'RE NOT, YOU KNOW! Oh Oz." Her expression suddenly changed from furious to crestfallen.

"I'm sorry, Lilli, are you all right?"

"All right? NO, I'M NOT! I've been out on dates with over 57.75 men – the .75 because he had lost an arm, you know – and not _one_ has ever asked me on a second date. Now it's _58_.75!" she wailed.

"I'm so sorry, Lilli."

"Yeah, well, I'm sorry, too, you know. Sorry that I'm leaving one of my favorite places." With that she bounced up from her seat and grabbed her things before throwing Boq one last, menacing look and stomping off.

Boq glanced around at the other customers and grinned sheepishly. "Um, women…?"

They didn't grin back.

_Women indeed_, he thought to himself a few minutes later, once he was out of the store. What if he wasn't cut out for this? What if…no, what was he talking about? He was Boq, and he was special – he had received roses and and a multitude of other gifts, especially a life-size cardboard cutout of the most beautiful girl in Oz. He could do this. He would have Galinda.

And if he had her, he would have everything.

He skipped all the way back to his dorm.


	5. Chapter 5: Hey There, Galinda

**Author's Note:** Uhm…school. How uncool. -giggle- I RHYMED!  
Sooo this chapter ends really badly, and I apologize for that, but I was getting very impatient. Yes, I'm a bad person - what can I say? XP  
Read, review, and enjoy!  
(By the way, I actually LOVE Hey There, Delilah. Ftw.)

* * *

It was Saturday morning, and Galinda's plan still wasn't perfect – neither was her hair for that matter, but for once appearance wasn't her number one priority. She had to investigate. She had to figure out when Boq's room would be unoccupied, because only then could she put her plan together.

She would talk to Boq's roommate – right now. Galinda knew Boq was out doing some research with Elphaba, so this was the perfect opportunity to talk with Grefin. Funnily enough, this required a primping session, as she would only be able to complete her investigation if she looked even better than usual. Boys usually fell for that sort of thing, kind of like Elphaba on heels (they had tried that once and, suffice to say, it hadn't turned out very well).

So, once her hair was curled, her face made up, and her body "nicely clothed" (head-to-toe in Ozzic Wizrahi's Back in Pink fall collection), she headed over to Briscoe Hall. She was just nearing Ozma Towers when she passed Pfannee, who quickly averted her gaze as she saw her friend going the way she had just come from.

"Why, such a pleasure to see you, Pfannee!" Galinda exclaimed. "What brought you this way?"

"Um…well, you know, just doing my early morning walk…like, trying to lose weight…" Pfannee's felt her face grow hot and desperately tried to think of something cool to distract herself. Like Boq, for instance. He was pretty cool. But that made her think of how hot he was, which instantly made her face feel as thought it were on fire.

"Oh, that _is_ a good idea, dear," Galinda said, "seeing as you're a size three at Nozstrom's, and _their_ sizes run small."

"You mean…you think I'm FAT?"

Galinda smiled, hoping it would soothe the girl's anxiety. "No, goodness no. I just think you could stand to lose a little weight, that's all!"

"But I–"

"Besides, that isn't the real reason why you were over here, am I right?"

As quickly as it had become hot, Pfannee's face turned a color similar to the snowy white handkerchief she had just dropped off at Boq's room.

"I'm afraid I have no idea what you're–"

"Talking about? I disagree. Because you, my dear, fancy a young man that just so happens to live in a dorm at Ozma Towers."

"Oh, Galinda! I'm so sorry, really, I am, and I didn't mean to steal him or anything, but you can't deny true love, you just can't, and I really like him an' all, but I didn't want you to get hurt, 'cause I always want to be your friend, 'cause you're amazing, and I just didn't want to see you be all sad and start crying, 'cause I love you in a total innocent-y friendship-y way, and…wait. What? Did you say Ozma Towers?"

Galinda grinned. "I knew it – YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH FIYERO!"

"I'm in love with Fiyero?" Pfannee repeated, her face distorted with bemusement.

"My Oz, you just said it yourself! But of course you did, I'm always right, and I _saw_ the look you gave him in Life Sciences the other day. It was so full of passion and lust and true love."

"Oh. Right."

"So you admit it?" Galinda asked slowly, because to be honest, she wasn't sure she was ready to hand Fiyero over to another girl. They had only broken up but a day ago, and already he was on to another love interest. Wasn't that rather rude?

"Uh…I guess I do. Why, is that not all right by you?"

"Don't fret, I'm perfectly fine, my dear. If you want Fiyero, you go get him!" Galinda thought that rather gracious of herself and made a mental note to treat herself with a limited Ozziny & Co. silver bracelet next time she went out.

"Thanks? Well, I have to go. Shenshen and I were planning to…um…hang out…" Pfannee said, neglecting to disclose the fact that hanging out included making plans to win Boq's heart.

"Of course you are. Ta-ta for now!" She winked and waved goodbye before resuming her walk toward Briscoe Hall. It would have taken a veritable less amount of time if she had opted for her silver ballet flats versus the white four-and-a-half inch pumps she was wearing now, but everyone was always saying pain equaled beauty. And if that was case, she was Shizzin' gorgeous.

By the time she reached the top of Staircase C in the Briscoe Hall building, ugly red blisters had sprouted along her heel and her feet hurt more than her annual bikini waxes. She also discovered small sweat rings forming around her armpits – luckily for her, she was wearing Lavish Lavender deodorant, so the fact she didn't smell of body odor was a mild comfort. But oh Oz, was that a loose thread on the hem of her–

"Umm, Miss Galinda? Are you lost?" said a voice behind her.

Galinda whirled around and grinned as her eyes rested on Grefin. "No, not at all. In fact, you're the very _man_ I was looking for."

Grefin arched an eyebrow. "How may I be of service?"

"Weeeell, first of all, you wouldn't mind if I sat down, would you? I feel…oh, I feel so _faint_," she said, clapping a hand to her forehead and heaving a delicate sigh. When he made no move toward his room, she swayed sharply to the right, and couldn't help but smile to her herself when he rushed to her side.

"Let me help you." He led her to Room 245, where he gently guided her into a plush desk chair. "Can I get you anything, perhaps some tap water in a small glass?"

Galinda wrinkled her nose. "_No_, thank you, I only drink purified water in a bottle."

And that was exactly why he had only fancied Galinda for a day or two, Grefin thought – she was too prissy to be anything but a fine female specimen.

"So what did you want of me?" he asked.

"Nothing special," Galinda responded, eyeing the cluttered room warily. "I was only looking for someone to chat with, and perhaps ask a few quest – hey, look, that's me!" She pointed at the cardboard cutout. "My word, I swear I couldn't look any better. I labored over that mascara, I'll have you know, made sure there wasn't a single clump on my lashes, and that foundation, couldn't have chosen a better color, and oh! – you can even see the tiny little glitter things in my lipgloss, isn't that thrillifying?"

Grefin swallowed a yawn before it could escape from his lips and said, dryly, "Indeed. Now why don't you tell me the real reason you're here?"

"Oh! That." Galinda giggled. "Well, you see, I was wondering if I might be able to use this room for a few hours Sunday evening. You see, I have a very special gift I plan on presenting Boq with, and it would involve…um, it would involve me. Only me. As in, no one else can be in the room."

"I don't know about that…It's our private room after all, and I'm not about to hand the key over to you."

"Oh, but that wouldn't be necessary," Galinda said, "because all I need you to do is let me in and then you can go on your merry way while I do what I need to do. Once I'm done, I'll…um, leave…yes, I'll leave! I'll leave and lock the door behind me, and it'll be like I was never here."

Grefin mulled it over, trying desperately for a way out but deciding the worst she could do was transform the room into a filly pink haven. "All right, and I'll let you in and make sure Boq isn't here."

"But you mustn't tell him," she added quickly.

"Why not?"

"Because it's supposed to be a surprise! Telling him would make it an un-surprise, and I can't have that. So do you swear not to tell him?"

"Of course I won't, not if it means that much to you," Grefin said, thinking it best not to reveal the crossed fingers behind his back. "Look, Miss Galinda, I really have some work to do, so if you don't mind…"

"Right, yes, of course, I'll be on my way. A pleasure to see you, Master Grefin, I do hope we'll speak again in the future." And with a pleasant smile at Boq's roommate she left, feeling more confident than she ever had before.

She. Had. A. _Plan_.

- - - - -

"You'll never guess who popped in to say hello while you were out canoodling with another one of your girlfriends," Grefin said casually as Boq pored over his Mathematics textbook.

"Not Lilli, I hope." Boq sighed. "This morning she gave me a note demanding me to apologize for not centering my attention on her and her only, and that if she doesn't receive a 'contrite letter' by Sunday night, she will roast me."

"_Roast_ you?"

"Not exactly. I believe her exact words were she would 'flame' me to 'see how it feels to be insulted'."

"That's hilarious," Grefin said, chuckling to himself as he pretended to work on his Linguistics.

"No, it's ridiculous. Why must girls be so sensitive?"

"Don't ask me, I'm not–"

"Wait, so who did you say stopped by earlier?" asked Boq, the previous words finally sinking in. He lowered his textbook and stared at Grefin, who, as the bearer of important information, was looking rather smug.

"Do you really want to know? I wouldn't want to ruin a surprise."

"_Grefin_…"

"All right, all right, it was–" he paused dramatically "–_Galinda_."

"_REALLY_?!" Boq slammed his textbook shut and threw it aside, taking no heed of the dent it made in the wall or his newly-crinkled math homework. "You _must_ tell me what she came here for. What did she say? Tell me!"

"Weeeell…she told me not to say, so maybe it's best I kept things to myself. I wouldn't want to go against Miss Galinda's wishes, no, goodness knows that would be a mortal sin." Grefin's underlying tone was mocking, but Boq was too worked up to notice.

"Grefin, if you don't tell me, I'll kill you."

"Is that so?"

"It _is_ so! You know, Melidina has never looked as lovely as she did today," Boq said.

"Oh, you wouldn't _dare_."

"Maybe I would." That wasn't the biggest lie he told all day. At least, it wasn't nearly as bad as him telling Yufanda he could lift a full 170 pounds, when in fact he could barely do half that. "But I wouldn't have to if you would only _tell me_ what she said."

"For the love of the Unnamed God, I will. She came here to ask me to make sure you would be absent from this room tomorrow evening."

"But why?" Boq asked, fidgeting impatiently.

"Because she says she has a very special present to give you."

"OOH!" Boq leapt off his bed, grinning in excitement. "You mean to say she has something else to give me, in addition to the flowers and the cardboard cutout?"

"That is precisely what I just said."

"And that it's special?"

"_Yes_, Boq."

Boq retreated to his bed and collapsed on top of it. "I think I'm the happiest man alive, Grefin. You think…do you think I should ask her out?"

"I don't know," Grefin said, rolling his eyes. "Do whatever you desire, it's not like she would reject you."

"But what if she does? OHSHIZ, I have an excellent idea."

"What is it?"

"I'll write her a song!" Boq exclaimed. "Here, here, I have an idea…listen to this." He cleared his throat and began proceeded to sing a clearly impromptu verse in the most tone-deaf voice Grefin had ever had the displeasure of hearing. "Hey there, Galinda, what's it like in Crage Hall? I'm a thousand feet away…uh…but girl, tonight you look so pretty, yes you do…er…The Wizard don't lie as much as you…I swear it's true."

"You might want to get rid of the lying line; I doubt she'd find it flattering."

"Oh, really? Well." Boq thought for a moment. "How about…okay, I guess I'll have to work on that. But I do have the chorus down, I think you'll find it interesting: Ohhhhhhhh it's what you do to me. And I'll repeat that as many times as it takes to charm her."

"Annoy her?"

"No, _charm_ her," Boq corrected. He then yawned – it was way past his bed time. "Listen, I'm going to get ready for bed. It's been quite the night." He trudged into their bathroom to wash up, working out new verses as he brushed his teeth and changed into his night clothes.

It was a long night for Grefin.


	6. Chapter 6: Bad Words

**Author's Note**: Whoo! I think…I think it's time for Winter Vacation (but we do have a three-day weekend - YAY!). Although I'd much prefer Spring Break due to the whole it's-nice-and-hot-outside-let's-see-if-I-can-get-a-tan-THIS-time thing. Plus, you know, there are much cuter clothes in the springtime. ;) And you get to wear cool sunglasses – the huge kind. The ones that are like THIS IS ME AND this is your face. Yep yep.  
…  
Annnnd I'm done with whatever that was. Read, review, and enjoy! (You know what I just realized? "Read, review, and enjoy" doesn't make any sense – shouldn't it be "Read, enjoy, and review"? Though that doesn't sound nearly as catchy…)  
READ ENJOY REVIEW.

* * *

"What in Oz have you been up to?" Elphaba asked, eyeing the bulging tote in Galinda's hand and the – was she seeing things? – pencil tucked neatly behind her ear as she skipped through the doorway. "It can't have been studying, as you're always reminding me of how you're above that. Though you really should have seeing as we have a unit test in Life Sciences on Monday." 

Galinda grinned and placed the pink bag on her bed. "Be careful of the way you phrase things, Elphie dear! It's true I think studying for _school_ is a waste of time, but as for anything I'm interested in, I can spend hours – oh, you wipe that look off your face, Elphaba – researching that subject." Elphaba smirked again, causing Galinda to pout childishly. "Sweet Lurline, I'm serious! _Honestly_. Have you not seen the number of hours I put into searching for the most perfect-est – it is _too_ a word, don't you try and convince me otherwise – dress for the dance?"

Elphaba rolled her eyes. "I don't think that counts. Dress shopping isn't a subject, it's a ridiculous waste of time."

"That's so not true. You know, I totally support your Animal rights thingy ma-bobber, so you should support my love for fashion. It's only faaaair."

"All right, all right," Elphaba said, deciding that while Animal rights and fashion were on completely different levels, the blonde was half right. She then watched bewilderedly as Galinda unloaded her bag full of various kinds of school supplies: textbooks, notebooks, pens, loose sheets of paper, as well as many other objects. "And that–" she pointed at the textbooks "–brings me back to my original question: what have you been up to?"

"Well. You know. I…" Galinda cleared her throat and opened her mouth again, and then, for lack of better words, said the first thing that came to her mind: "In the closet."

"I beg your pardon?"

"I mean…I mean…" Galinda felt heat rush to her face and immediately found a seat on her bed to ease the lightheadedness that was sure to accompany her embarrassment. "Well, um, the dress…it's in my closet…"

Elphaba gazed at her in half-bemusement, half-skepticism; after all, it was evident she was lying, but to cover up what, and why, was a mystery. "Do elaborate."

"So, would you like to see it?"

"What, your dress?"

"Of course," Galinda said, "seeing as there's nothing else to tell – I mean, show you."

"In that case, no – especially since you're diverging from the main topic of this conversation."

Galinda licked her dry lips. "Well…" There was no way she could tell her friend what she was planning; she would laugh, she would scorn, she would ridicule, and Galinda didn't need any of that. Plus, if word somehow got out it would be the end of her, and she didn't want to be ended. She wanted a new beginning. "You'll just have to live with the fact that I am a woman with many secrets, Elphie, and there's nothing you can do about it."

"You? _You_ have many secrets?" Elphaba snorted. "Come on now, Galinda, be serious–"

"I _am_–!"

"No, you are most certainly not. At least tell me one more thing: does whatever you're doing concern a certain Munchkin by the name of Boq?"

"It could," she said vaguely, although her inability to look her roommate in the eye gave Elphaba the answer she needed.

"Sweet Oz, what is _with_ you?" Elphaba exclaimed, clearly conveying her exasperation with the Boq obsession. "Why is he so popular all of a sudden? Why is he 'still Boq from Munchkinland, just with a little added flair'? He's letting all this go to his head, you know; the unprecedented rush of attention is turning him into a creature worse than Fiyero, and that's saying something."

"But Fiyero isn't bad! He is just…oh, he's immature, which is why I broke up with him."

"Not only did you just prove my point, you're a hypocrite as well."

"Are you saying I'm immature?" Galinda asked, trying to hide-but-not-really-hide how hurt she was by the accusation.

"Yes – oh Galinda, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to–"

"You're a big meanie, Miss Smellphaba! And I said 'smell' because you reek of evilness and cruelty and MEAN COMMENTS." She threw "Smellphaba" what was supposed to be a withering glare before stomping into their bathroom and slamming the door shut.

Elphaba wasn't the least bit perturbed by Galinda's outburst. In fact, to Galinda-who-was-listening-through-the-door's dismay, she found the whole ordeal ridiculously funny and began to laugh hysterically.

Galinda promptly burst back out of the bathroom, shrieking, "It's not funny! It's not funny! Oh, you horrid witch, stop making fun of me!"

However, not one to hold grudges, she, too, started to see the humor in the situation and found herself laughing along with her friend.

After the two calmed down they began their usual nightly rituals, which for Galinda took a full hour and Elphaba ten minutes. After all, she had a face to exfoliate; hands and feet to moisturize; teeth to brush, whiten, and floss; hair to brush and put up into curlers; and sixteen nails to shape, give two coats of polish in the latest hue to, and strengthen. By the time she finished with her routine, she usually found herself able to fall asleep in less than five minutes.

But not tonight.

All she could think about was tomorrow, which couldn't seem to come fast enough. She even had her outfit planned out: a strapless blue- and white-striped shirt, gray skinny jeans, red flats by Steve Ozzden, and gold bangles she'd found at the bottom of her jewelry box (they'd only just come back into style, of course). There was also that black lace bra from Wiztoria's Secret, but she doubted Boq would see it for awhile – they had to take things slow.

She looked over at their clock and sighed: it was only eleven o' clock, and ten hours until she was supposed to wake up. Twenty hours until she could begin her plan. She would have to bring something along to occupy her while she waited for Boq to come in the room, or she'd be bored out of her mind for who knew how long. Some magazines, perhaps, and a flashlight in the event there was no light to read by. And…well, magazines would have to do.

Galinda glanced at the clock again: eleven o' four. This was torture.

"Elphie, are you awake?"

"I always am at this hour."

"Oh! Well, I can't sleep, and I figured I might as well have a lovely chat with my favorite-est roommate in all of Oz. So. How are yooou?"

"Well enough. Tell me, will this 'lovely chat' consist of you blathering on about some frivolous topic of which I have no interest in, or can I expect something more substantial?" Elphaba asked, irritated at the loss of her thinking time that always occurred after Galinda was asleep.

"What if it was both?"

"I doubt that's possible, but try me."

"Um…I'll have to get back to you on that," Galinda said before emitting a delicate yawn. "Would you look at that, I'm finally tired! Good night, Elphie dear."

"Good night."

Galinda dreamed of her and Boq frolicking through a garden and was quite enjoying it until he started to sing a song about her, thus turning her dream to a nightmare.

- - - - -

Boq had agreed to escort Nessarose to the school's annual fall production of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, and that was exactly where he was now: sitting in seat 24B, wishing that the girl in seat 24C was Galinda, not Nessarose. He did, however, take a small comfort in the fact he had already received three roses that were usually reserved as congratulatory gifts for the actors – seriously, if he was considered cooler than _actors_, he must be pretty hot stuff.

…Yet he was here, wasting his time with _Nessa_, who seemed not to think the outing a waste of time at all. For ever since the faux-velvet red curtains swung back to begin the show, she'd been trying to lean her head on his chest, to get him to hold her hand, but Boq wouldn't allow either of such. Instead he'd shifted so that he was squished against the armrest as far away from Nessa as possible. Of course, this meant he was squished _uncomfortably_ against the armrest, but it was better than being squished against _her_.

A tap on his shoulder made Boq turn his head to see Lilli, who was still wearing the same angry expression she'd been using with him ever since that unfortunate night at Ozbucks.

"May I help you?" he whispered, looking askance at Nessa, who had become too engrossed in the play to pay him any heed.

"I have yet to receive a note of apology from you, Master Boq."

Boq rolled his eyes. "Forgive me, _Miss Lilli_, but your apology letter is not on my list of priorities. I'm sorry I ruined your sweatshirt, but you need to grow up and start acting your age – not your bra size."

"Then I suppose that means I'm nearly fifteen years older than you," Lilli hissed.

"Or are you?"

Lilli took a few clock ticks to allow the subtext to sink in. Once she glanced briefly at her nonexistent chest, her jaw dropped to the floor and her expression changed back from blank to pure loathing.

"You're such an asshole!" she snarled, just loud enough to draw attention from a few immediate audience members.

"Well, I think you're a bitch." The minute the words left his mouth, he wished he could stuff them back in. He had never, ever, _ever_ called anyone a Bad Word, much less a girl. "Oz, Lilli, I swear I didn't mean to – I'm so sorry – didn't mean to say that – you aren't really a bitch, it just slipped out – honestly didn't mean to–"

Even though the theater was dark, Boq could see Lilli's eyes fill up with tears. He reached out to touch her shoulder but was too late: she shot out of her seat and hastily made her way out into the aisle and out of the theater.

Boq contemplated the possibility of going after her but decided she was better off without him. He would probably make things worse. Either way, it was too late to fix things – she hated him, and that was that.

She was only one girl in a million after all.

- - - - -

"Ew, this play is sooo boring," Galinda whined as softly as possible. "I have no idea why I thought this would be an entertaining way to spend my afternoon before…before I…before the evening."

Elphaba was just about to further investigate the mystery of Galinda's future doings when a girl ran up the aisle and out of the theater, sobbing.

"What's _her_ problem?" she said.

"What…Oh, you mean Lilli? She's got impeccable taste in fashion but she's horribly sensitive and moodier than I am on my period. Not one of her most endearing qualities, I'm afraid."

Elphaba nodded and resumed trying to watch the production, having – to Galinda's great luck – forgotten all about her evening project. The play finished not too much later and it took all of Galinda's willpower to remain calm for as long as it took to exit the theater.

"Elphie, what is the time?" she asked once they were outside.

"Almost seven o' clock. Why?"

Galinda's heart skipped a beat. "WHAT?! Holy mother of…Sweet Oz, I have to go. BYE!" Before Elphaba could stop her, she ran off to their room to get her materials ready for…

The Plan.


	7. Chapter 7: Good Night, Galinda

**Author's Note:** Internet wouldn't work on her old computer. Solution? Get Jelly a new laptop. Result? Lower restrictions on this computer. Hopefully, Jelly will keep FanFiction unblocked for as long as possible. As for now,  
READ ENJOY REVIEW!  
And a question: What do you think Boq's laughs sound like?

* * *

This was it: the event she had been waiting for all week. Galinda could hardly suppress her excitement and – yes, she had to admit it – fear. Fear that her Plan would fail along with Boq's possible feelings for her. However, it wasn't as if she did not possess any feeling-inducing qualities, for she knew she possessed quite many of those. Her good looks, for example. Still, there was nothing she could do to calm the butterflies in her stomach.

Galinda opened the door to Boq's room and entered as inconspicuously as possible (it wouldn't do to have a girl in a boy's dorm, and she wasn't fond of negative attention), checking first to ensure that both Boq and Grefin were out of the room as planned. She then went into their bathroom to do some last minute touch-ups on her hair and make-up. Once she was more than satisfied with her appearance ("Oh Galinda, your lips look simply _ravishing _in that Strawberry Cake-scented lip gloss you have on, and your eye shadow brings out every single blue speck in your eyes – you are sexalicious, Galinda dear, oh yes you are."), she stepped back out into the room and was about to finally launch The Plan when she heard a knock on the door.

"Booooq?" a female voice called out, her pronunciation having a greater resemblance to a chicken squawk than a name. "_Boq_, you horrendible boy, I have not received your apology letter and I daresay it's long past due. I _told you_ you'd better give it to me or I would become very angry, and that's exactly what I am now. In fact, one might say I am seething, or furious, or fuming, or irate, or infuriated, or – oh, what does it matter, you probably don't care how pissed I am at you. You didn't care when I ran out of the theatre crying, so I don't know why I'm standing outside your door like this. Actually, I do: I want my letter of apology, and I want it now. I _know_ you're in there!"

Throughout Lilli's entire spiel Galinda stood silent and motionless, not wanting to let on that someone was inside, and remained that way for awhile as Lilli continued to rant on and on about her anger.

"Fine, if you want to ignore me, go ahead and do so. Just remember you have an enemy now." Lilli waited a few clock ticks before concluding, "I guess you're really not there then. All right, I'm leaving. Goodbye, Boq."

Galinda breathed a sigh of relief. She had successfully overcome her first obstacle, and she hoped that set the precedence for the remainder of her Plan.

Feeling particularly pleased with herself, Galinda decided there would be no harm in spending a few minutes to apply the detective skills she had learned from those library textbooks to a real-life situation. Not that she remembered any. What she was really doing could be classified as snooping around, though Galinda considered that practice to be beneath her.

It didn't take her long to figure that the neater side of the room was probably Boq's, but what settled the decision was the fact that one bed was a foot shorter than the other. Galinda threw herself onto his bed and buried her face in his pillow, and breathed in the lovely, manly scent of…body odor. Oh, how _gross_. She retrieved a bottle of Eau Irresistible from her purse and sprayed the perfume all over his linens.

Galinda then moved on to her next order of business: his desk. She rummaged first though the papers on his desktop (mostly schoolwork), then through his drawers (mostly letters from his family – and schoolwork), and finally through the shelves on top of his desk (even more schoolwork). There was nothing about her: no half-written love letters, no ripped out diary entries, not even the love note _she'd_ sent _him_. However, she refused to give up.

…And she didn't need to.

For there, on top of the adjacent dresser, was a small chest labeled _Galinda_ in a neat cursive with multiple hearts surrounding her name. She smiled – there was no way he _didn't_ love her. With this substantial piece of evidence, how could he not?

It didn't take Galinda long to find the key, taped on the underside of the box. She thrust the key in the lock and turned it, and with a _click_ it opened. Nearly bursting with excitement, she plunged her hand into the multitude of notes, drawings, and poems, and took one out.

_Great  
Awesome  
Lovely  
Intelligent  
Not ugly  
Delightful  
Always cool_

She couldn't help but smile to herself. He cared _that_ much to write a poem about her? It was…oh, it was beautiful, with words of such eloquence that she had to wipe away a lone tear that had formed in the corner of her eye. Another one, she had to read another one.

_There once was a lady named Galinda,  
Who was very full of splendor-a.  
By fine Boq she was loved,_

_And then came the turtle dove,  
Who granted them peace from the Nessa. _

Oh, sweet Oz, this was the best day of her life. He was such a good writer! Not only did she have a boyfriend who was totally cute and manly, but one that put the _Oziad_'s author to shame as well. 

She withdrew a torn piece of rose-scented parchment.

_Dear Diary,  
I saw Galinda again today. She is such a wild thing, she makes my heart sing.  
You know, last night I had a dream. I found myself in a wonderful land called Galinda-loves-Boq Land. I was all hot because I was thinking about Galinda, my – well, that's personal information, and I was ecstatic. Then, out of the heavens, came Galinda the Great. She said, "I'm in love with you, Boq."  
And then I woke up.  
Now I keep a single flaxen curl I found on the floor by her seat under my pillow at all times-_

Was she to laugh or recoil in disgust at this?

_-to always keep her in my memory. Always.  
Not that I need much help.  
Oh, and another thing: why does that goshdarn Nessarose always have to interrupt a Moment between Galinda and I? I was just about to walk up to her the other day when that stupid girl came rolling up in her Nessawheel.  
LEAVE ME AND MY WOMAN THE FLYING FREAK ALONE, NESSA.  
Sincerely,  
Boq_

Wow. That was one of the most touching – and oddest – notes she had ever read about herself. He cared about her…he _really_ cared about her, which was sweet, but at the same time it was a total turnoff. Come to think of it, it had always been a total turnoff, hadn't it? And if one _really_ came to think of it, what _had_ changed about Boq since the publication of the magazine article about …oh, yeah.

_Caz Frone_.

All doubts were thrown aside as Galinda remembered the reason why Boq had become so popular so abruptly. She could learn to accept him for who he was, couldn't she? Perhaps she could even change some of habits to mold him into an almost-Caz Frone and hire an agent, or give him a makeover and take him shopping, or –

"I – think – it's – safe – to – go – in – side – now."

"And why wouldn't it be?"

Galinda took a sharp intake of breath as she heard right outside the door a pair of voices that sounded distinctly like Grefin's and Boq's.

"Who knows, there could be someone in – side – our – room."

She heard the doorknob jiggle slightly and realized that Grefin was testing it to see if it was locked – and it wasn't. Hopefully he would be able to give her a few minutes to finish up.

"Stop being ridiculous, there's no way that could happen unless one kept the door unlocked or they gave away their key. You didn't happen to do any of that, did you?"

Galinda shut the lid before placing the key back under the small chest and finally, finally launching The Plan.

"Noooo. Listen, I – oh! I forgot, I saw a pfenix outside earlier today, and I wanted to show it to you."

"A pfenix? Here, on a college campus? That's crazy, Grefin, and I'm sure it would be long gone by now."

"You never know, it could–"

"_Open the damn door_."

As she closed the door to Boq's closet behind her (those lucky boys, they each got a closet of their own), Galinda breathed in the overwhelming combination of unwashed socks, half-eaten lunches long since unfinished, and – oh Oz, was that a dead mouse over there in the corner? She suppressed the urge to cough (or vomit) and placed a tube of Lip Smackin' Pink lip gloss from her purse right under her nose, using it as an air freshener. Galinda managed to find a place to sit after quietly clearing away a pile of clothes just as they walked through the door. It was uncomfortable, yes, but if all went as planned the end result would be well worth her initial discomfort.

Oh, she could picture it now…He would open the closet door in search for his nightclothes, but would instead find an even better nighttime accessory: Galinda. Galinda looking her finest. Her breathtaking beauty would cause him to forget all about those nightclothes and he'd take her in his arms and kiss her and then he'd bring her to his bed and they would have the best night of their lives and–

"Sweet Oz, what _is_ that smell?" Grefin said. "It's like a pack of girls invaded our room – I mean, well, you know. Hypothetically."

"What smell?" A pause. "Oh, that strawberry-ish one? It's not so bad," Boq said. Galinda smiled.

"If you consider Morrible's early morning breath to be not so bad, then no, our room doesn't smell so bad at all."

Boq laughed. "Seriously now, why does our room smell like a gi–?"

"Speaking of girls, has Lilli given up yet?"

"No, not really. You want to know something weird, though? I ran into her on my way up here and she gave me the oddest look and then yelled at me for sneaking out of my room. First of all, the only way to leave one's room is through the front door; exiting through the window is near impossible, although I doubt it hasn't been done before. Secondly, I haven't been in my room since this morning. Isn't that strange?"

"Uh, well, we're talking about Lilli. She's…weird?" Grefin said, with a trace of nervousness heard only by Galinda.

"True," he said, and a few minutes of silence elapsed before he spoke again. "Uh…Grefin? What are you doing?"

"Wha-what? Oh, nothing, I was just, uh, seeing if our room had changed in any way. You know, since there was a weird smell in here, we might have had an intrud – I mean, well, my neck needed exercise. You know how it is."

Galinda silently clapped a hand to her forehand in frustration. Had Grefin ever heard of subtlety? Or inconspicu-whatever? In other words, _not_ letting on that something was indeed awry?

"No I don't, but that's all right. Listen, it's been a long day and I'm about ready to fall asleep right now."

"Are you? Well, if you are, I might as well do the same. It's not like there's _anything at all_ to do."

"Exactly."

Galinda's heart leapt to her throat as she realized what this meant: that Boq was going to bed _now_, that in a few minutes he would open the closet door, that in a few minutes The Plan would fully come to life

"Grefin, where'd I put my nightclothes?"

"Under your pillow."

"Oh. Thanks."

Galinda's jaw dropped. This was a problem. A big, big problem. Oh, she had to get out of here before dark, or…or…or she'd be stuck here all night. All night long. In a closet with a dead mouse.

"Good night, Grefin."

"Good night, Boq."

The lights shut off, leaving Galinda all alone in the darkness of the closet.

Good night, Galinda.


End file.
